Well, there are some things that I just can’t say when I’m posting on caedmonscall.net, despite the fact that we emblazon “the officially unofficial fan site of Caedmon’s Call” all across the top of every page. You’d be surprised what kinds of hot water we’ve gotten the band into for things we’ve said. Remember how Bill Simmons jokes about dodging the electric shocks coming from Bristol in his chats? Well, let’s just say that if I said something about a C&D, well, I’d probably get 10,000 volts applied to me the next time I saw someone from Bragg Management.

That said, putting out a greatest hits compilation—the second such release in three years, and this one containing no new cuts whatsoever—less than two months before the release of their next album? That’s a low blow, even for a record company that pushed for two make-lots-of-money worship records from the band.

Maybe I’ll write an open letter to Essential, telling them how much they suck. Or maybe I’ll let Derek do it for me, a decade ago:

It’s not as though this truck’s been up on blocks for years in my front yard
Waiting for the fuel of you to make it go

Essential Records sucks.